What bold, “STOP and THINK” statement right?
I heard someone say this the other day and it really did make me stop and think, “Wow. How many people think that it does?” The answer is ... a lot actually. People wear “busy” as some sort of weird Medal of Honor.
*Karen corners you the moment she sees you, "OMG! How have you been?!” “BUSY!” you respond with pride.
Freaking *Karen... #youhavetomuchtimeonyourhandskaren
When did the obsession with APPEARING busy, even with, meaningless, exaggerated, disillusioned tasks become more important than doing things of value that actually make you important?
I think it was somewhere in the 2005-2010 timeframe when I started really noticing it, in myself anyway, and by 2015, I felt the pressure to always be doing something “important” or “impressive”. Now let me add in a little #sidenote here. As someone who struggles personally with a number of “issues”, an extreme case of ADHD and debilitating anxiety on top of some pretty intense stupid medical issues this past year (just to name a few) staying active, completing tasks, trying to quench my creative thirst, and not doing the same thing day after day is IMPERATIVE to my mental health and overall wellbeing. I TOTALLY get not being able to “sit still” and then when you are finally able to, quickly realizing that you + alone in your overthinking, moving-way-to-fast-thoughts = #notgoingtoendwell (so let’s distract some more!) Trust me when I say, I do really understand that. But that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about *Janice, from book club, being more obsessed with posting something today on the gram that makes her LOOK busy/important than actually DOING something important. Wake up. People see right through you Janice, I do anyway, and you’re wasting your life away on things that don’t matter! It will NEVER bring you true happiness or contentment. They aren’t going to change the world, they didn’t make anyone’s day better, you’re not being kind and at the end of the day you still feel empty and are miserable. And please someone tell *Tina that nobody looked at her #latenightworking selfie and thought, “OH wow! Tina is so important!” No! They probably thought, (if they even stopped scrolling to think of anything at all) #suckstobeTina
Let’s jump back to 2015 now, when I REALLY felt the pressure to always be working on something “important” and when I say important I don’t mean like actual important life tasks like spending time with my husband who actually is my best friend or making sure my 4 girls grow up to be kind, fully functioning, world contributing, self-sufficient, not completely screwed up by their mother, grown people, or helping someone else’s day/life be a little easier or taking a pause and actually doing something I WANT to do other than something that I feel like I HAVE to do. No, back then I thought “important” meant “impressive” or something that would “further my career”. I felt like I had to always have something “important” (impressive) that I was working on, ready in my back pocket to pull out when someone asked me my least favorite question in the world, “Soooooooo, What have you been up to lately?!” Ughhhh.....Freaking *Janice is the worst! She doesn’t even CARE what I have been up to, she just wants to judge me! #toomuchtimeonyourhands
Fast forward 4 ish years. I’m not sure how or when I actually arrived at this place. Some would call it confidence, some call it not caring. I say it’s both. I am confident that I am important. I stopped focusing on what others thought of me and stopped feeling like I needed to be doing something “important” (impressive) to actually BE important. Maybe it came with age. Maybe it came with seeing that all of that effort was really wasted because it didn’t get me closer to any actual goals of value. It didn’t make me important and it sure didn’t make me FEEL important. Somewhere along the line, I realized that what I was searching for was not to be viewed by others as important but to in fact FEEL important to myself. That journey and destination looks differently for everyone and I have no words to tell you how to get there or where “there” even is. You have to put the work in yourself. All I can really do is give you a much-needed wake-up call. STOP! THINK! REFLECT! Your answer lies in your daily activities. Not the ones you have to do (because we are all adults here with stupid responsibilities that we don’t really want to do but have to do... yea limit those, but more about that later) but the ones you are choosing to do. Focus on those things for a moment and ask yourself some hard to answer questions that SHOULD make you feel a little uncomfortable. Think about or write down all the things you choose to do daily and if that’s too overwhelming, think about that one thing that consumes your thoughts, feelings, and actions on the daily.
Then ask yourself 3 questions:
WHY are you doing this? What is the honest motivation behind this?
WHO are you really doing this for?
RESULT - What is the end result that you are hoping to achieve by doing this?
That’s where your answers are found. Do the work! This is your wake up call, if you don’t need one then you wouldn’t still be reading this. As you go through your day, I want you to remember that BUSY does not = IMPORTANT
*Not real people. I’m sorry if your name is Karen, Janice, or Tina. Unless you’re a horrible person, then I’m not sorry and you have to much time on your hands. Be better.